


Pretend like it’s the weekend now (and we could pretend it all the time)

by somethingstomyself



Series: Better Together [1]
Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 06:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingstomyself/pseuds/somethingstomyself
Summary: If Valentina needs to make breakfast in Mother’s Day then that’s what they will do. They’ll sit and eat, and pretend to be the family they no longer are.





	Pretend like it’s the weekend now (and we could pretend it all the time)

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any mistake made.  
> I don't know if this is any good but I did it and I'm so proud of myself for it.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you like it!

 

 

 

_"We got everything we need right here, And everything we need is enough."_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

It isn’t a rare occurrence to have Valentina barging in a room, demanding you to play with her. As the youngest Carvajal, she has everyone wrap up around her little finger but it’s her loving personality and her playful blue eyes that let her get away with anything.

Eva’s used to her sister customs. If Valentina wanted to play princess and dragons, then that usually meant that Guille would be her mighty dragon sidekick and she’d have to play the evil witch to defeat. Valentina gets bored waiting to be save, she wants to fight the villain, she likes going on adventures with her loyal dragon pet. She likes saving herself.

So it isn’t a rare occurrence to have her little sister barging in a room, asking for play time. But it is unusual lately. Since her mother’s passing Valentina lost her most devoted playmate.

It was like her mother’s death took all the joy. With her it went the thrill of hockey lessons, the excitement of birthdays, the wonderfuls weekends in the Valle House, the bedtime stories, the goodnight kisses and peaceful dreams. She took the laughs, the happiness, the love.

And worse of all, she took her father too. It’s like they lost both of their parents that day.

Eva always thought that her father was the pillar of the house, the tether that held them together. He was the steady force that they could rely on. The unwavering strength that sustain them with an inflexible authority that wouldn’t hear excuses, and a protectiveness that made them felt like nothing wrong could happen. Leon was the hero of their fairy tale. He’d defeat the evil witch with hugs, he’d earn the dragon trust with tickles and save the princess with kisses and cuddles.

There was nothing daddy couldn’t fix.

Except, maybe, his wife’s health.

Eva was wrong, Leon Carvajal wasn’t their tether. Her mother was and without her there was nothing holding them in place.

Her father tries but he’s just a shell of the man he used to be. Guille once so playful and friendly, now is dim and guarded, so cautious with feelings he used to freely give. And worst of all is how lost Valentina is.

She doesn’t understand why her mommy won’t come play, why mommy isn’t there for bedtime stories or goodnight kisses and no matter how much she cries, mommy won’t kiss away the pain. She doesn’t understand where her mother went or why she won’t come back but she feels the heaviness of her absence more than anyone else.

Her family’s overwhelmed with sorrow and hopelessness but Eva is left feeling the bitter emptiness of her grief. She doesn’t know which one is worse, to feel the heartbreak of losing someone so important or to feel nothing at all.

“Eva,” Valentina shouts from the door, “hurry! We have to make breakfast,” still in her ducklings pajamas, firmly holding to her stuffed bunny.

“Are you hungry? I’m sure Chivis can make you something.”

“No, _we_ have to make breakfast,” she emphasizes, “it’s Mother’s Day and we have to make breakfast for mom.”

Eva’s shocked awake, she thought that after all the talks and explanations her dad and uncle Camilo went through Valentina understood what had happened to her mother, “Val, mom’s not here, remember?” she carefully approaches the pouting child, “do you remember what daddy told you?”

“Yes, I remember,” she’s biting her tongue, like she does when she’s upset, “but it’s Mother’s Day and we always make mom breakfast in her day.”

“But she’s not here, Val,” Eva doesn’t want to make her little sister cry but she won’t lie to her, “it doesn’t matter anymore if we make breakfast or not.”

“It _does_ matter! It’s tradition so we have to do it!” she shouts, clenching her bunny, “we don’t stop celebrating Mother’s Day just because mommy isn’t with us anymore,” she finish in a whisper, looking at Eva with her big blue eyes shining with tears.

And she could never resist her little sister crying.

“Ok, Val. Let’s make breakfast.”

Most of times Eva feels useless with the whole situation. She can’t help her father, Guille refuse to talk to anyone and she’s at a lost with her own feelings. But at least she can help Valentina make breakfast.

“Really?!” her whole face lights up, “I knew you would help me,” she grabs Eva’s hand and start pulling her to the kitchen, “Guille won’t let me in his room. He’s so mean now.”

“He’s just sad, he misses mom.”

“I miss her too and I’m not mean.”

“I know, he just feels different than you and me,” it’s not easy to explain the complexities of grief to a five year old, specially when she doesn’t understand it herself, “don’t worry, he’d come around.”

At least Eva hopes he does. She feels so lost without her mother to guide her, to tell her everything will be alright. How she will know if what she’s doing is the right thing?

“You promise?”

“Yes, Val, I promise.”

What’s she supposed to do now? Who would advise her? She lost her best friend, her confident. Her first and only advocate against her father. It feels overwhelming at times, like all the despair and uncertainty will drown her.

If nothing else, she can do this today. She will cook with Valentina and it will be enough for now. She will take care of her little sister.

“What do you wanna make?” Eva brings the footstool to the counter.

“We have to make her favorites,” she states, washing her hands.

“Banana pancakes it is, then.”

“What are you doing?” Guille asks entering the kitchen, he looks disturbed and the bags under his eyes tell her he’s sleeping as well as she is.

“Guille! We are making mom’s breakfast,” Valentina excitedly replies, peeling bananas.

Guille’s baffle face is looking at Eva for an explanation. She can see the hurt and confusion wash over his eyes but it’s anger that settles in the hard lines of his face, “why? She’s dead so it doesn’t matter anymore,” his brown eyes are accusing at Eva.

“It does matter. It was mommy favorite part of the day and it’s her day so we have to do it,” Valentina explains it like it’s the most obvious thing, just like she does when trying to convince him as to why he has to piggyback her across the yard.

“Eva, what are you doing?!” he snarls, clenching his jaw, “Why are you doing this to her?”

“She just want to make breakfast for mom, that’s all,” she pleads, beggs that he understands, “it’s important to Valentina, Guille.”

Those are the magic words. He would do anything for Valentina. No one loves her like he does and no one will protect her more fiercely or defend her more valiantly.

He must see how such a little thing is making Valentina happy, how light and peaceful she looks after days on no end where all she did was cry. He looks at Eva and a promise is made between them. They can fight and yell at each other, and they might disagree in almost every little thing but in this moment they agree in the most important thing they’ll share.

Valentina will always come first, she ties them together. She is their tether.

He gives a little nod to Eva, swallows all his pain and approaches Valentina,“how can I help you, Val?”

Only then Valentina looks up, beaming her most adoring smile full of love,“you have to make me breakfast because Eva doesn’t know how I like it,” she orders, “but first, you have to hug me!” giving him no time to respond, she throws her little body to him, knowing he will catch her. Valentina murmurs something only for him to hear and his eyes shine with tears. They are in their private little buble, reserved just for them.

“Thank you, Val,” he seems better, not so defeated, “I love you, too.”

Eva might never understand their relationship, she might never be part of their silent conversations or their secrets games, but she doesn’t have to. She loves them all the same. She will keep them safe no matter what.

They are hers to protect, hers to care.

If Valentina needs to make breakfast in Mother’s Day then that’s what they will do. They’ll sit and eat, and pretend to be the family they no longer are.

It’s her responsibility as big sister. Her most important job, just like her mother used to say.

 

 

 

_//**//_

 

 

 

What a sick and cruel torture is to ask a teenager to willingly wake up early. It’s not reasonable to expect him to be lucid so early in the morning but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to try. And as impossible as it feels he manages to wake up at the crack of dawn. He knew this day was coming so he’s been mentally preparing for it.

 

It still took him a good hour to leave the bed.

 

Feeling groggy with sleep he goes to the door, already knowing what’s waiting him on the other side. Valentina’s gawky figure in her worn out pajamas and messy bed hair with a pleading look and clasped hands under her chin, fills him with warm affection.

 

“You promise, Guille,” she pouts. Valentina knows exactly how to bend him to her very will.

 

“I know, Val, that’s why I’m awake,” he answers with a smile, “let’s go make breakfast.”

 

“We are not waiting for Eva?”

 

“She told you she may not make it, college is pretty far.”

 

“But who would make the pancakes?”

 

“I will,” he replies with a yawn.

 

“But you don’t know how,” Valentina scoffs, offended at his suggestion.

 

“How hard can it be?” She doesn’t look pleased but lets it go. Honestly, if Eva could make them then surely it isn’t that hard.

 

This is the first year that Eva wouldn’t be spending Mother’s Day with them and Valentina’s been fretting about it since Eva told her. Their sister’s in college this year so it’s his responsibility that the day goes well. He has to step up and be the big brother Valentina needs but Guille can’t really blame her little sister lack of trust. Eva does everything by the time he rolls out of bed.

 

He carefully reads the recipe Eva left. It doesn’t look complicated, he can do this.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for Eva?” Valentina doesn’t sound so sure.

 

“Don’t you have faith in your big brother?” Guille teases, looking for the things he needs.

 

“It’s not that,” she’s washing her hands but keeps her eyes on him, “I just know you can’t cook.”

 

“What?!” he looks at her wounded, “of course I can.”

 

“You can’t.”

 

“Yes, I can.”

 

“You have never cook before.”

 

“Yes, I have.”

 

“Chivis always cooks,” she smugly counters.

 

Never one to admit defeat, Guille changes tactics, “how can Eva cook then?”

 

“Mom taught her,” she looks pointly at him.

 

“Well, Eva left me the instructions, I just have to follow them,” he’s confident in his skills, even with Valentina’s judgy gaze tracking his every movement, “they’re steps, I can follow a couple of simple steps.”

 

“Guille, you can’t follow steps,” she’s mocking him, “you don’t even know how to dance.”

 

“I know how to dance.”

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

“Yes, I-” feeling them get sidetrack, Guille moves along, “it doesn’t matter if I can dance or not, which I can” just to make it clear, “I just have to do what the recipe says,” he looks at the ingredients, checking if something is missing.

 

“Why don’t we wait for Eva?” she stubbornly insist.

 

“Because she may not come,” it would be one more person missing but Guille’s determine to make it up to his little sister, “but that’s ok Val, we have each other.”

 

“But it _has_ to be the three of us, we have to be together today,” she seems much smaller, defeated with her head hung low and hunched shoulders. He knows she’s about to cry, he can hear it in her voice.

 

This is what he was afraid of, why he insisted so much to Eva to try and make it home. It’s why he woke up so early to try his hardest to make pancakes knowing very well that he’ll fall short because he would never make them like Valentina likes. Like Eva does them.

 

Like their mother taught her.

 

“I know Val, but in the meantime, why don’t you help me?” he smiles warmly.

 

“You say you could do it alone,” she answers sniffing a little.

 

“Not alone, never alone!” he’ll always try his hardest with her, “you know I can’t do anything without you!”

 

It’s the essence of his being, what moves him forward. They could bicker and fight, sometimes he was a little overprotective and she could annoyed the crap out of him when she wanted to. But mostly they’re great with each other. It’s weird for siblings to be friends but they are. They share a bond hard to explain and Guille doesn’t care for reasons. For him, it just is.

 

“But what happens when you leave? Who will help me, then?”

 

“I’ll never leave you, Val.”

 

“But you’ll go to college, just like Eva,” it breaks his heart to see her so dejected, ”and then it will be just me.”

 

“I’ll come, I promise,” he pleads.

 

“You promise?”

 

“I pinky promise!” he smiles, extending his pinky to her.

 

“Pinky promises are the most important promises Guille, you can’t back down after.”

 

He’s very aware of the importance of her pinky promises, “I pinky promise to never leave you alone, lil' sis,” he catches her pinky, looks into her eyes and hopes she can see beyond the teasing how sincere he is, how serious he’s going to take this.

 

“I pinky promise too,” the smile she has lets him know that she sees, that she understands.

 

Valentina speaks his lenguaje like no one else. She knows he needs her just as much.

 

“Now, let’s make some pancakes!” he shouts, raising his arms.

 

“You really think Eva won’t come?” she looks at the recipe, more calm now, “she pinky promise she would.”

 

“Then I’m sure she will try her hardest,” because Eva understand how important this is “But if she can’t it would be fine because I’m sure I can make better pancakes anyway.”

 

“I don’t think you can but I will support you anyway.”

 

“Jeez, thanks for the confidence.”

 

“Always!” at least she’s smiling now, “I won’t lie to you, Guille.”

 

“It’s ok, I will show you,” he’s going to make the best pancakes ever. “Now, how important do you think measuring is?”

 

“Very,” is the deadpan answer Eva gives from the door.

 

“Eva!” Valentina squeals, running to hug her sister.

 

“Oh, thank god,” Guille sighs, the relief leaves him a little dizzy.

 

“How did you manage?” Eva hugs him too. He knows she can see how lost he felt without her, just like he can see how distressed she was. It’s important to Eva and he knew that but now he can see it in her. It's in her ragged clothes and disheveled hair, in the relief washing over her face now that she made it home.

 

“Just fine, right Val?”

 

“Yes but we’re better now,” she answers beaming at them.

 

He doesn’t understand why this holiday is so important to her but he doesn’t have to. If her little sister wants this moment because she feels that it somehow honors their mother, then he will do it.

 

Anything for Valentina.

 

 

 

_//**//_

 

 

 

Sundays lost the magic they used to hold.

 

They were his favorite, he used to look forward to them all week. All the hard work at the office was worth it because in the end he could enjoy Sundays with his family. A whole day just for them.

 

It was the strangest thing because Leon Carvajal never saw himself like the kind of man that look forward to a day where the most exciting thing was to spend it with his family. He was a businessman, he was raised to live a structured life where his worth will be measure by his hard work.

 

But marriage changed him because Sundays used to be his favorites.

 

He learned to appreciate the little moments that life gave him. The hugs of his son, the kisses of his daughters, their laughter filling the house, the happiness surrounding it all. His wife had given him that, she had taught him that their children were the most important thing. And that’s how his worth would be measure.

 

What once was a home full of joy is now an empty house, quiet and bleak without all the affection it used to hold. It was like the source of all the warm was gone, no longer in place to comfort them.

 

It’s a startling change that Leon still trying to get used to so the view that greets him in the kitchen surprises him. Valentina’s cutting fruit while Guille’s trying to cook something in the pan.

 

“Well, this is a nice surprise! What are you doing so early?” he doesn’t know what’s more shocking, if seeing them at such an early hour or watching them trying to cook, “son, I didn’t know you were here, when did you arrive?”

 

“Hi, daddy!” came Valentina’s happy replied, she looks suspiciously chipper for such an early hour. She hates early mornings.

 

“Hi, dad,” Guille barely looks at him, “I just got here,” Leon gives him a tight hug, he was only away for a couple of months but he misses his son terribly. The house feels too big now, with only him and Valentina.

 

“I tought you still had exams,” that’s what he said when they talked on the phone.

 

“Yes, I have but it’s Mother’s Day,” Guille’s attention is back at the pan.

 

That stops Leon’s good mood, “you left college to come here for that?”

 

“Daddy, it’s Mother’s Day, of course he’ll come home today.”

 

When his wife died Leon broke down. He lost his better half and she truly was the better part of him, without her there to guide him he didn’t have a clue in how to raise their children. More often than not, Leon thinks his doing a decent job.

 

Granted, he doesn’t know how to talk to them or how comfort them. She didn’t teach him that because it was her job and he never thought he’ll have to learn to be without her. So he doesn’t know a lot of things but he’s trying. Hopefully it will be enough.

 

If he couldn’t save their mother then the least he could do is give them everything else. So when Valentina insisted that she wanted to keep celebrating Mother’s Day he didn’t oppose. Eva wouldn’t allowed it. Valentina was happy, at least for a little bit and that usually meant that they all were. They kept doing it and at first Leon didn’t see the harm in it. It was their little thing, just for the three of them.

 

He had hope that this coping mechanism would eventually end. It couldn’t be healthy, putting their life on hold for a day. For a moment that’s not that special. It’s not the anniversary of her death, nor her birthday. It’s just a silly holiday with no true meaning.

 

“How long are you going to continue with this?” he charges at Guille, “you can’t neglect your studies for this.”

 

“Dad, it’s not a big deal and I’m not neglecting anything,” he hopes his dad doesn’t start an argument over this. Eva isn’t here yet and he’s not good at discussions with his father, “besides, it’s tradition,” he winks at Valentina and she smiles at him, scrunching her nose.

 

“I’m getting tired of these childsplays of yours,” apparently Leon won’t back down.

 

“Daddy, it’s not a game,” Valentina replies calmly, not aware of his bad mood, “it’s tradition.”

 

At the beginning Leon thought it would be good, a way for them to mourn, to say goodbye and move on. But they are still stuck in the same place, holding on to the past.

 

“At first I’d allow it because you seemed better if we played along, like it help you” Leon speaks gently, like he always does with Valentina, “but you can’t keep doing this, baby. It’s not healthy.”

 

“It’s not a game,” she answers with a broken voice, stunned at his father attitude and Guille can see the hurt in her eyes, “it’s important.”

 

“Dad, leave it,” he warns, clenching his fists and it surprise Leon seeing Guille so upset, like he’s ready to physical fight him. It shouldn’t though, Guille is extremely protective of his little sister.

 

“What’s the point of doing this?” he rebukes, “what good does?”

 

“It’s not hurting anybody,” Guille scolds, “why do you care? It’s not like you are here, anyway.”

 

“Don’t argue, please-”

 

“I care because you should be studying, not wasting your time coming all the way here for this-”

 

“Dad, stop, it’s my fault,” Valentina grabs Guille’s arm, “Guillermo, please.”

 

The use of his full name in her broken pleading voice gets his attention. He will fight anyone for Valentina, even their own father but he’s defenseless against her imploring eyes, full of fear and remorse. His first instinct is to soothe her, to make it better for her.

 

Just then Eva enters the kitchen, taken aback at the sight. Leon’s irritated, pressing lips and angry eyes. Guille’s tense, a little baffled but it’s Valentina that draws her attention with her wide eyes full of dread.

 

“Good morning everyone,” she moves to her sister but keeps her eyes on Leon and Guille, “how’s the breakfast going?”

 

“You are part of this too?” Leon turns to her, disbelieving. Guille’s a given because we’d do anything that Valentina asked but Eva had to know better than to encourage this behaviour.

 

“What do you mean?” she focus on comforting Valentina, stroking her back, “of course I’m part of this, it’s Mother’s Day.”

 

“Eva, you can’t be serious,” Leon scolds her, “you are not kids anymore and this foolish-”

 

“Dad! It’s Mother’s Day and this _our_ tradition,” Eva interrupts before he upsets Valentina more than he already did, “we do this every year and this year won’t be different,” she gives him a warning look.

 

Eva’s devotion to her siblings is a unwavering force that won’t back down. She will compromise with Leon in matters of her life but there is not discussion where her siblings are concern. She won’t allow it.

 

“Guille, you burn them again,” she says, looking at the pan.

 

“It’s not my fault,” he mumbles, grateful that she’s finally here.

 

Eva took care of them when Leon couldn’t. She was there to comfort them, to help them cope. She had to grow up and play a role that she was too little to perform but he was too consumed with grief to do. So this is a familiar setting, Eva taking care of her siblings, doing what she think it’s right by them.

 

“I will leave you to it, then,” he concedes, spearing one last look to Eva, “I love you, Val,” he kiss her forehead, apologetic, and leaves them to enjoy their breakfast.

 

Leon lost a part of him when his wife died. The most important part, the one that completed him. Some days it feels like her absence is this overwhelming weight, pressing his chest and chaining him to grief. For Valentina it must be equally devastating. They both have to live here where the memory of her keeps them stuck, unable to move on.

 

Valentina took the death of her mother the hardest. It’s because of way she loves, without restraint or expectation, she gives all of her heart to the feeling. And she feels the heartbreaks just as intensely, just as deeply. She has always been like that, so pure and generous with her love that no one can’t help but love her.

 

It’s how Leon knew that she would be the hardest for him. She’s so innocent in her caring and the world is so cruel. It frightens him how much she feels and how little he can do to protect her.

 

If this pretend breakfast helps her, he will allow it for a little bit longer.

 

Leon loves his children. He only wants what’s best for them. Sometimes it’s hard to know what that is. Being a parent isn’t easy, you want them to be happy and safe and sometimes those two things don’t go hand in hand. That’s the hard part, when you have to do things that they may not like. He’s trying to be a good parent. He’s all they have now.

 

Valentina doesn’t want to go study abroad, she asked him to let her stay. But maybe being away would be good for her. It would help her grow and see how much more the world has to offer. More than this silly holiday that only reminds her of what she lost.

 

Valentina deserves better. And he’s going to give that to her.

 

She may not see it at first but he has her best interest at heart. A time away from here would be good for her.

 

She would be fine. He’ll see to it.

 

He misses easy Sundays.

 

 

 

_//**//_

 

 

 

Mother’s Day is a lie. It’s a holiday with commercial purposes rather than to commemorate someone because your love shouldn’t be measure once a year. And there’s no point to it when you don’t have a mother worthy of it. So, it’s not a true holiday and even if it were, Lucia doesn’t have anyone to celebrate it with.

 

She doesn’t celebrate Mother’s Day and she surely thought neither did the Carvajal household. The absence of the mother figure is evident, not in a obvious way but Lucia has trained herself to see this kind of things. The Carvajals look like the perfect picture but they feel incomplete.

 

Apparently she’s wrong because the kitchen is full of life that morning. Valentina’s sitting at the counter, laughing at Guille who looks anxious attempting to cook something with Eva directing him not too far of. So much joy it’s contagious, it brights her sour mood.

 

“Good morning everyone,” Lucia greets with a smile.

 

“Lucia!” Valentina rush to hug her, “happy Mother’s Day!”

 

Lucia’s still trying to get used to these sincere displays of love. It’s foreign to her but Valentina's an affectionate person. Since the moment they met she’s been so genuine and kind that Lucia can’t help but reciprocate. It warms her heart to see her so light and happy now that Leon let her come back.

 

“Valentina, please, you don’t have to do that with all of dad’s girlfriends,” Eva mocks with a snarky look.

 

“Eva! That’s not true,” Valentina scolds at her sister, “but if it were, Lucia’s my favorite,” and winks at Lucia.

 

Guille only mumbles his greeting, his attention never leaving the pan.

 

“What are you doing up?” Lucia moves to the coffee, she’s going to need it to deal with Eva so early in the day.

 

“We’re making breakfast.”

 

“Why isn’t Silvina doing it?”

 

“She’s not our slave, she deserves to celebrate Mother’s Day too,” Eva scoffs.

 

“I didn’t meant it like that, I just-”

 

“Don’t apologize, Eva’s being mean today,” Valentina answers, rolling her eyes to her sister, “it’s Mother’s Day so we’re making breakfast for our mom.”

 

Eva raises an eyebrow, daring her to say something, daring her to make fun of Valentina. Guille looks from the pan to gauge her reaction too but Lucia is no one to judge others relationships with their parents.

 

It’s not that strange that they cook for someone that’s not there anymore, but it is unexpected. Lucia didn’t know that they still had her mother so present.

 

There are not pictures of her at simple view, not in Leon’s study or in the library. Lucia’s sure that’s Leon’s doing. Out of sight, out of mind. But there are a few in Valentina’s room, displayed with pride for anyone to see. She looks young and carefree in some, lovely and peaceful holding a baby in others. A woman of mesmerizing beauty of whom Valentina inherited her looks but not her eyes, she has her father’s playfuls eyes. The eyes of the woman in the pictures are the same kind eyes that Guille has.

 

“That’s really sweet, is this something you did before?” Lucia finally says. Guille deems her answer good enough, going back to the pancakes but Eva keeps her proving eyes on her, waiting for a mistake.

 

“Yes, we’d wake really early and make breakfast for her to eat with us,” Valentina got this blissful look, a wide and easy grin adorning her face, “I know it’s nothing special but she loved that we made it,” she looks dreamily at Eva and Guille, “she’d open our presents and tell us how much she loved them, remember? Even the ugly ones that we made at school,” she looks so happy in the memory.

 

From the corner of her eyes she can see Eva wiping a tear but all three of them share a pleasing smile.

 

“It’s a beautiful memory, Val” Lucia tells her, Valentina answers with a watery smile, “and it is special.”

 

“How do you spend it?” Guille ask her.

 

“Oh! I don’t,” the question startles her, “I never had a reason to celebrate.”

 

“I’m so sorry” he quickly apologize, “I didn’t mean to-”

 

“It’s ok, don’t worry about it,” it really isn’t a big deal but Valentina seems more upset than she is, so to change topics Lucia approaches Guille, who looks defeated at the pan, “do you need any help? Is there something I can do?”

 

“This is a private thing,” Eva’s firm tone is clear, she overstayed her welcome.

 

Lucia wonders what Eva got from her mother, if any. Or if she is her father’s daughter through and through. She sure acts like it. Eva definitely got her father’s aggressive nature, and Lucia’s never been in the receiving end of her affections but she knows that Eva’s capable of it. She constantly gives it to her siblings. If only to them.

 

Lucia may con Leon and Eva will do everything in her power to make her pay and put her in jail. Maybe she would succeed, maybe not. But if Lucia does anything to harm Valentina or Guille, she’s sure Eva would kill her. There’s not doubt in her mind about it.

 

“Evangelina!”

 

“You don’t have to be so rude,” Guille scolds her.

 

“Of course, I understand,” Lucia didn’t meant to overstep, “thanks for the coffee,” she hastily makes her exit.

 

It’s not easy to make her feel so out of place but Eva has a knack for it. Mostly she does it to annoy her and Lucia’s getting used to it. But this time she’s right, it’s their moment with their mother and she’s intruding.

 

Lucia’s not afraid of Eva, she’s just aware of all the players involve. It would be stupid not to be and Lucia’s not stupid. She knows how to play the game, how important is to know all the pieces and how they move. Eva’s a important piece, a tricky one. She’s predictable in her intentions, not really harmful on her own but she can be really dangerous if provoke.

 

There are certains lines she can’t cruce with Eva. The most important one is her siblings. It’s not surprising and Lucia can’t really blame her, Valentina and Guille are so honest in their love that they inspire that protectiveness. Even in her and she just met them.

 

Lucia ends up in the garden, swinging in the hammock, pondering about her morning.

 

What an extraordinary woman she must have been. To evoke so much devotion from her children, even after all this years she's still very present. It’s an odd concept to her, that such a loving and devoting mother could exist. Lucia always thought they existed only in fairy tales.

 

And what beautiful way to honor her. They were so lucky to have been loved so purely, so genuinely. Yes, she died and they lost her but at least they knew what it was to be loved so deeply by a mother. She will always be there, in that love that they still feel, that they still miss.

 

On days like today, the burdens that she carries feel more heavy. Like dead weights crushing her to the ground. She wishes she could let it all go. To release it. No more shame of her past, no more guilt of what she has to do to survive. No more sadness for what it couldn’t be, or anger of a mother’s love that never was and never will be.

 

To leave it all behind and be free of its weight.

 

To fly away and never look back.

 

That’s how Leon finds her some time later, considering the freedom of birds.

 

 

 

_//**//_

 

 

The house’s really quiet, which is not a surprise at this hour on a Sunday. Everyone must be sleeping so it should be easy to go unnoticed, get to her room and pretend she spend the night there. She makes a quick survey of the kitchen and sighs in relief at not seeing anyone.

It’s not the first time she sneaks in after spending the night out but she thought that she was over this foolishness by now. She’s not afraid of being caught, they can’t ground her anymore. But she would prefer to start the day without arguing with her sister.

It’s all Juliana’s fault, really. If she hadn’t so adamantly refuse to staying the night here then Valentina wouldn’t be in this situation. At last, Juliana won that one and not for Valentina’s lack of trying, so she’s left sneaking around like a teenager. She tries to go as quietly as possible and she almost makes it, she’s just outside her door when Eva speaks.

“Aren’t you a little bit old to be sneaking around?”

“Oh, my god, Eva!” she squeals, placing a hand over her heart, trying to calm it down, “you scared me.”

“What’s this walk of shame, lil' sis?” she mocks.

Rolling her eyes, Valentina ignores her and goes to change clothes.

“Val!” Eva follows her, sitting in the bed while Valentina seeks in her closet, “what are these hours of getting home? Don’t you have shame, Valentina?”

The mocking tone and the glint in her eyes tell Valentina that she’s joking. She knows she’s joking but it still stings that Eva’s using that word again. Valentina’s still deeply hurt by that fight and it annoys her that Eva acts like everything is fine between them, like Eva can say those awful things to her and everything’s ok.

“Shame of what, exactly?” Valentina deadpans.

“Of dishonoring this sacred day with a booty call.”

Valentina snorts, paying no mind to Eva as she grabs sweatpants and a shirt that she borrowed from Juliana.

But it’s not enough for Eva, “are you going to ignore me all morning?” and when Valentina doesn't answer Eva decides to play dirty, “you can't do that today, it's against the rules.” That's low because Valentina may be furious with Eva but today’s more than the two of them. Eva knows how special Mother’s Day is for Valentina, the importance that it holds. She hates her sister even more for using it against her.

But Valentina can be civil, at least today. Sticking her tongue to Eva, she leaves the room.

“Valentina!” Eva trials behind her, “don’t be like that, tell me where you were?”

“Where’s Guille?”

“Who knows, now that he’s an independent man he lives his own life,” she starts the coffee machine, “but going back to you, who were you with?” Valentina laughs, if only she knew. She’s tempted to just tell her, just to see the look on Eva’s face but that would end in arguments and hurtful words again and she just wants to spend this morning in peace.

“You shouldn’t ask for answers you won’t like,” she mumbles.

“What do you mean?”

Valentina’s playing dumb, sending a text to Guille to hurry up because Eva’s in a mood and a good brother wouldn’t leave her alone in such hard times. Eva’s carefully watching Valentina, trying to figure it out.

“Do you want to start with the pancakes?” maybe she can distract her.

“Guille insists that he wants to do them,” Eva rolls her eyes.

“But he can’t cook.”

“I’m very aware of that,” Eva start serving them coffee, mentally preparing herself to deal with Guille’s cooking, ”every year it’s a complete failure.”

“Maybe this will be his lucky year.”

“He’s awful, Valentina and you know it.”

“How come after all this years he can’t do it? Are you that bad of a teacher?”

“Excuse me, I’m an excellent teacher” Eva scofs, offended, “it’s not my fault he’s a terrible student.”

“Easy for you to say, you had a really good teacher.”

“Yeah, I did,” they share a smile and for a moment it’s like the old times.

“I hate cats,” Guille enters, puffy eyes and messy hair.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Valentina drowns their bickering. She’s about to send a text to Juliana and complaint about her siblings but gets distracted with a silly selfie Juliana sent her. She doesn’t see Guille sneaking up on her until it’s too late.

“So, how’s Juliana?” he’s teasing but Valentina’s wide eyes and alarming expression stops him.

“Juliana?”

Valentina sends a murderous look to Guille, he’ll pay for that one. Trying not to panic she opts for the safest course of action. Diversion, “I’m going to start with the bananas, Guille do you want coffee?”

“Oh, yes, please,” he tries to play along.

“Is this about that girl again?” Eva insists.

“Do you want anything with your coffee, Guille?” he looks remorseful but she won’t get swayed by his pretty eyes.

“Valentina!”

“Sugar? Milk?” she glares at him, “poison?”

“Valentina! What the hell are you thinking?”

“Eva, don’t start.”

“Not today, Eva,” but Valentina’s warning tone goes to deaf ears.

“We talked about this already, I told you to stop this ridic-”

“Eva!” Guille interrupts, alarmed at her sister’s words.

“Eva, stop!” Valentina shouts, “you know better, not today,” it’s the angry look Valentina has that stops her.

“Fine, but this isn’t over.”

“I’m sure you think so,” Valentina’s dry reply.

Guille wants to say more to Eva but understands that is not his place, specially today. But they are definitely going to talk later. Giving a soft squeeze to Valentina’s shoulder, he goes to gather the ingredients for pancakes.

Valentina’s too upset to do anything, she goes to sit to cool down. She tries to think of something else, something relaxing. Like waking up with Juliana this morning.

 

Deep breaths.

 

How peaceful and happy she was then.

 

In and out.

 

Thinking of her girlfriend reminds her how disrespectful Eva was to her. She bites her tongue, panting.

 

Her mind it’s too work up to stop now. She’s not a little kid anymore, Eva can’t tell her what to do and if she wants to stay the night at her girlfriend’s then she fucking will, Eva has no right to make her feel ashamed for it.

“You now what? Fuck this,” Valentina stands abruptly, “and fuck you for making me feel so awful about it.”

“Val!”

“You have no right Eva, none!” she charges at Eva but Guille gets between them, “who do you think you are to tell me what to do?”

“I’m your sister!”

“That doesn’t give you the right to meddle, to tell me those awful things!” she snarls, “do you have any idea how much you hurt me?” Guille’s torn between trying to stop Valentina and demanding answers from Eva himself.

“I didn’t meant to hurt you!”

“You said dad would me ashamed of me! How do you think it would make me feel?”

“You did what?!”

Eva’s trap by both her siblings, one very angry and the other about to cry and Eva can’t stand Valentina crying. And despite what it may look like, she doesn’t want to hurt her sister, “look let’s just- why don’t we calm down? Let’s sit and talk about it.”

“Are you serious?” Valentina’s ready to leave, “we’re not discussing politics Eva, it’s not like you can talk me out of it.”

“I know, I know,” Eva’s so desperate to make it right but Valentia won’t hear it, “you can’t just leave,” she pleads when Valentina goes to the door, “not today, you have to stay today.”

“I don’t have to do anything and I’m getting tired of you using today as an excuse.”

“You are right, I’m sorry,” Eva knows that if Valentina walks away, specially today, she’s going to lose her sister, “but you always say how special today is and how we have to spend it together,” Valentina’s not convince but at least she hasn’t left yet, “just let me apologize, let me try to fix it.”

Valentina’s skeptical but she still sits and Eva sighs in relief. Guille’s on the other side, arms cross and body tense, the thin line of his mouth and the murderous glare tell Eva that she’s going to get a lecture later.

“I’m really sorry for all the awful things I say to you, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“But you did, Eva.”

“I’m sorry, there’s not excuse for the things I said,” Eva swallows, “about dad or about your sexuality.”

“Since when are you homophobic?” Guille patronize.

“It’s not about that, it’s not about Valentina being gay,” Valentina deadpan look says how little she believes her, “it’s really not.”

“Why did it bother you so much, then?”

“It’s not about you liking women, it just-” Eva’s takes a deep breath and tries to order her thoughts, “life has been cruel enough to us already, losing mom and then dad. And now you go and make it even harder for you.”

“I fell in love with an amazing person that’s wonderful to me,” Valentina’s voice breaks, ”I found someone that makes me happier than I’ve ever been, why can you see that?”

Valentina’s given up on her and Eva can’t really blame her. It breaks her heart. Who is she without them? Because she’s not naive, where Valentina goes Guille will follow. She needs to fix this. What hope is there for her if her own siblings leave her?

“Since mom died my whole life it’s been taking care of you,” Eva begins, “it’s been my main concern and it may not look like it but you two are the most important thing to me,” she’s never said it, never show it but she hoped they knew, “I was just trying to take care of you, very badly I admit but I was doing what I thought was right.”

“That’s no excuse, it doesn’t make it right.”

“I know but you have to understand, I was just trying to protect you.”

“Of what?!”

“Of everything, of everyone!” she cries out “Of what people will say, of what they’ll do,” and then she mutters, “I don’t want you getting hurt, Valentina.”

“But you hurt me and it’s worse because you’re supposed to be on my side. You’re supposed to love me no matter what.”

“I do love you, Val, so much,” Valentina lets a long sigh out, she looks so tired “I just- I’m not very good at showing it.”

“You’re awful at it,” Guille chimes in and Eva glares at him. Not helping.

”I’ll learn to do it better,” she tells him, and then at Valentina, “I’ll try to do it like you deserved it.”

Valentina covers her face with both hands. She’s exhausted. Taking a deep breath she looks at Eva and bites her tongue, she’s still so angry. Eva insulted her and Juliana, cause them to break up and put them through so much misery. All because some missguided obligation that she feels, “you make very hard to love you, Evangelina.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

It’s funny, in a sad kind of way because Valentina is so easy to love and she loves so freely. But Eva’s so difficult, she makes it so hard for everyone that even Valentina’s having a hard time.

She’s not entirely sure how sorry Eva really is but she did apologize. It doesn’t make it better but it’s something. Valentina knows that her sister loves her, in a twisted kind of way, “I’m really mad at you,” she scolds, “I understand why you did it but it’s not ok and I can’t forgive you yet,” and then, softer, “I appreciate that you apologize.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, I understand how much I hurt you.”

It didn’t fix anything but they had to start somewhere. Eva may not agree with her relationship with Juliana but she has to respect it. At the very least she won’t meddle anymore.

Lucia’s a little concern when she enters the kitchen and finds the people in it so serious, specially on a day like today. She learned not to meddle on their Mother’s Day traditions but Valentina looks so dishearten that Lucia’s tempt to just ask what happened. It’s the close off expressions on Guille and Eva that stops her.

“Morning everyone,” she notes that they didn’t start cooking yet, “I just came for the coffee,” they murmur their greetings but only Valentina gets up to hug her, wishing her a happy day.

It warms her heart that she hold her in such a high regard. Lucia’s not her mother, she doesn’t pretend to be but they shared something special nonetheless. Valentina gave her something Lucia never thought she would have, a family. A place to belong and she’ll always be thankful for it.

Getting a closer look at her Lucia can see how worn out Valentina is, her sad blue eyes and the tracks of tears that she’s trying to dry worries her. What could possible bring her down in a day like today? A day that’s so happy and joyful for Valentina.

She’ll have to ask later, “thank you, Val,” Lucia cups her face, “I would see you at lunch.”

It was a Sunday tradition that Valentina used to have with Leon and Lucia. At first it was to make Lucia feel welcomed and it made her father happy. Sometimes Guille joined but never Eva. After Leon died, the two of them kept the Sundays lunch dates.

This year Mother’s Day is on a Sunday so Valentina asked Lucia if she wanted for they to have their own little tradition too. Because Valentina needs Lucia in her life but she knows that Lucia needs her too.

That’s how she spends her Mother’s Day now, breakfast with her mom and lunch with Lucia.

Agreeing on a time to lunch, she gets on starting breakfast. She stills feels a little worn out but at least she’s not so cross with Eva anymore.

“Are you ready to ruin a batch of pancakes?” she asks Guille, trying to light the mood.

He smiles at her.

Yeah, they would be okey.

 

 

 

_((+1))_

 

 

“Hi Barbara,” Valentina greets with a smile, putting away the groceries she brought.

 

After having lunch with Lucia, she took a nap and decided to come over and check on Juliana who’s clearly in a mood, going by the short answers to her texts. She bought the milk she heard Juliana complain about, and the cookies that Barbara likes.

 

Barbara has never said anything but Valentina doesn’t want her to feel use, to get tired of housing Juliana and, more often than not, Valentina herself. She likes Barbara. She seems a little off. Quirky. A touch wacky with all the spiritual and witchy stuff but harmless. She’s kind to Juliana, good to both of them and way more considerate that the last lady Juliana used to live with. So Valentina will accommodate as best as she can.

 

“Valentina!” Barbara hugs her, “you look so peaceful today, there’s something-” she's looking at Valentina with this faraway look she gets, “it’s like this color that you have but it seems brighter today” she’s caressing her cheek, lost in her mind ”like a presence!”

 

“A presence?”

 

“Yes, you always have it but it’s stronger today.”

 

“Is it a good thing?” she’s amused with her antics. Juliana doesn’t like them but Valentina finds them entertaining.

 

“It’s like a protection in you, like,” she’s staring to Valentina, looking for something in her blue eyes, “Oh, yes, of course! A mother’s love.” Valentina stood complety still and with a shaky voice manages to ask Barbara to repeat herself, “the color, it feels like a mother’s love.”

 

Valentina gasp, shocked by the words, “is stronger today?”

 

“Yes, it’s brighter.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know, the presence seems stronger today.”

 

“Really?” she’s smiling from ear to ear, eyes shining with tears.

 

“I wouldn’t lie to you, not with this,” she speaks like she knows how important this is for Valentina.

 

“Thank you, thank you so much!” Valentina hugs Barbara tightly. She dries her tears, laughing at how silly she’s being because Barbara’s not always right but Valentina would like to think that this time she is, “where’s Juls?”

 

“Pff, that one’s been in a bad mood all day,” thankfully Barbara’s used to them after dealing with Beltran, “she tired herself to sleep.”

 

“Did something happen?”

 

“Not really but you know how she is, all broody and quiet,” Valentina’s very aware how tight-lipped Juliana gets when something bothers her, “maybe is the day, you know.”

 

“The day?”

 

“Yes, it’s Mother’s Day so it must be hard for her.”

 

Valentina brings her hands to her face, covering her embarrassment. She feels so stupid, of course Mother’s Day would be hard for Juliana. She was so focus on her own feelings regarding this day that she completely forgot what it would meant to Juliana. Excusing herself with Barbara, she goes to look for her girlfriend.

 

Juliana’s soundly sleeping in her room, Valentina leaves her stuff by the door, takes her shoes off and goes to cuddle her. She dips her face in the crook of Juliana’s neck, her favorite place. Breathes her in. It feels like coming home and Valentina enjoys this peaceful moment.

 

She leaves a kiss there and rests beside Juliana, head prop in one hand and the other in Juliana’s hip. Juliana stirs slowly waking up, stretching her limbs and softly growling when they pop. When her pretty eyes open and focus on Valentina, she smiles fondly.

 

“Hi,” Valentina smiles back. Juliana doesn’t answer, she just hugs her and buries her face in Valentina’s neck. Finally Valentina has the comfort she’s been craving all day, “I miss you too,” she hugs her tightly because she did, as silly as that sounds, “how was your day?”

 

“Mmh,” is the mumble reply, “your breakfast?”

 

She’s deflecting but Valentina won’t push her, not yet at least. Instead she tells Juliana about her day, how it started with Eva, their conversation and how the breakfast wasn’t so bad but Guille still can’t make pancakes. Valentina suspects he did that on purpose this time, to cheer her up.

 

She loves him even more for it.

 

At some point Juliana comes out from hiding to soothe her, stroking her cheek, playing with her hair. Her mere presence calms Valentina, “at least you could clear the air with her. That’s something, right?”

 

“Maybe, we’ll see.”

 

“I think it’d be good,” insist Juliana

 

“Mmh,” Valentina kiss her just because, “now tell me about your day.”

 

The mood changes, Juliana roll back putting distance between them. Valentina can see how she starts to withdraw into herself. It’s ok, she knows Juliana doesn’t like physical contact when she’s upset so she lets her take her space.

 

“Uneventful. I study a little, draw some things and had lunch with Barbara,” of course Juliana wouldn’t make it easy.

 

“You know, I can be a little single-minded sometimes,” Valentina starts, taking Juliana’s hand “but that doesn’t make it ok and I have to be more mindful of you and your needs.”

 

“You are, Val-”

 

“Clearly not enough or I would have realize that today would be a hard day for you.”

 

Juliana set her jaw, clearly displeased with the subject., “it’s not your fault, I didn’t tell you.”

 

“I didn’t even ask you, though,” Valentina kiss her hand, “I’ll try to do better.”

 

“It’s ok.”

 

“It’s not, my love,” Juliana always put others before of her, she’s always considering others needs before her own, “why you didn’t tell me?”

 

“I didn’t want you to worry about me, I know how special today is for you,” what a silly girl, how can she not see how much she matters?

 

“Juliana, your feelings matter too,” Valentina squeezes her hand, “talk to me.”

 

“I just-” Juliana puff, annoy with herself. She sits, not looking at Valentina, “I’m so mad at her, at me.”

 

“Why?” Valentina sits cross legged and tries to gauge what Juliana needs of her, how to comfort her. She tugs at Juliana’s shirt, asking and Juliana grabs her hand again, to let her know that that’s ok.

 

“I missed her all day,” Juliana looks frustrated, “and it’s not fair because she did this to us, she left me,” she looks at Valentina and her eyes are so full of hurt, “I left the house but she abandoned me. She gave up on her own daughter,” she’s so heartbroken, it kills Valentina to see her like this.

 

Juliana’s the most caring person Valentina’s ever met. She doesn’t give her love easily but when she does, she loves fiercely and against everything. Valentina can’t conceive how someone can give up on such an amazing person, to renounce to a love so deep and doting.

 

“It’s so unfair,” her voice is shaking but the stubbornness set in the thin line of her lips tell Valentina that she won’t cry, “she was so horrible but I still miss her and it bothers me so much.”

 

Valentina climbs to her lap, gently takes her face with both hands, soothing her. She waits for Juliana to look at her so she can see that Valentina means every word, “you are amazing, did you know?” because she is and Valentina will tell her everyday if she has to. “It’s ok that you miss her. She was the most important person in your life and that love doesn’t just go away.”

 

No one deserves to be loved more than Juliana. She’s the bravest person Valentina’s ever met. She has gone through terrifying situations and she’s still so gentle and pure with her love. Life showed her such an ugly side and Juliana still manages to be kind and generous. It baffles Valentina how such an extraordinary being can exist.

 

“I can barely remember my mother and I only have good memories. Mundane and meaningless, but good,” she smiles remembering her mother’s laugh, her dimpled smile and traces where Juliana has hers, “but you have both. You have all this wonderful memories off all the amazing things she did for you,” Valentina will always be thankful to Lupe for raising such a beautiful person, “but you also have these hurtful memories too.”

 

Juliana press their foreheads together and takes a deep breath. Let’s Valentina’s words wash over her and take the anger away.

 

“You are allow to miss that mother, sweetie, don’t punish yourself for it,” Valentina murmurs.

 

“I love you, so much,” Juliana has never been more sure of anything before.

 

“I love you too,” Valentina gently kisses her and hopes Juliana can feel her love through it, “your feelings matter, Juliana,” she murmurs into her lips, “you matter, my love.”

 

After living her whole life putting others before hers, Juliana isn’t sure. It’s going to take time but Valentina’s patient. She understands when Juliana needs space, when she needs comfort and how she needs it. She listens even when Juliana isn’t telling. More importantly, Valentina believes in her like no one did before.

 

Juliana doesn’t really believes in her but Valentina does and that’s enough for now.

 

“Can we cuddle now?” asks Valentina.

 

“Yes, please,” with another kiss Juliana leans back and takes Valentina with her so she can settle more comfortably. Half on top of her, half in the bed Valentina sinks her head in Juliana’s neck. The fatigue makes her limbs heavy with sleep but Juliana doesn’t mind, she finds comfort in it.

 

“What a day,” Juliana kiss her head, "I'm glad it's over."

 

“I know,” comes Valentina’s sleepy murmur.

 

“Families are exhausting,” Juliana’s scratching her head, easing her to sleep, and Valentina’s slurred affirmation tells her she’s about to fall asleep.

 

“Oh, I remember something,” Juliana isn’t entirely sure she isn’t sleep talking, “Lucia wants to have lunch with us.”

 

“What? Why?!” And just like that all the calm leaves Juliana’s body, how is she supposed to fall asleep now?

 

She and Valentina have recently work things out and officially started dating even less than that. They are still learning about each other and how to function together so the meeting of parents seems a little sudden.

 

“Val?”

 

The snoring sound it’s the only answers she gets so now she lies wide awake wondering how to make a good impression on a bunch of rich people with an overprotective drive to the girl she’s dating.

 

What an awful day Mother’s Day is.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Valentina and Juliana are amazing but this novela has so many more wonderful and complex characters.
> 
>  
> 
> I love Eva. I love Lucia. Can you tell?


End file.
